actuality

when i was alone

you came around

Thursday, June 30, 2005

many things to say.but first: 31 DAYS TO ME BDAY AND 15 DAYS TO HALF-BLOOD PRINCE.yeaaah.

to do list:
1. stop being lazy
2. stop lying
3. stop being ugly.
4. stop sneaking arnd after school.
5. stop hating people.do you have nothing better to do?
6. stop acting cool.
7. stop worrying about stuff.
8. stop growing.
9. stop being dense blur stoopid etc.

ok.so why isit that evry bad thing happens to me? that is like so freaking unfair.like.. for example.i am stuck in blue house.with STUPID PEOPLE.yulenda haniz nawshein.i hate them.what am i supposed to do? hang out with the boys? and yulenda is such a copycat.why cant she have her own style? argh.and im practically fated with her.we sit together, our index numbers are together, and we end up in the same bloody house.and what isit with her and being cool anw? whats with the e being a 3? and the double ii.and pulling down her damn socks.and whats even more unfair is that I.I of all people got caught for ankle socks today when i wasnt even wearing them.wth!!!!!! i hate prefects.they suck.alot.alot alot.

Monday, June 20, 2005

i think im going crazy.. yes.thats right.im mad! ive lost me marbles.im off me rocker.these stupid voices in my head are driving me bonkers.ok.gotta stop thinking.get outta my head stupid voices!!!!!!!!!!! arrgh.what a boring holiday.i jus sit at home and watch the same old shows.oh yeah the countsown for half blood prince begins.i think its 26 or 27 or 28 days.cant wait!! ive got nth to do so watched the movies one after the other again and again and again.and read the books too.yes my sis finally decided to share.i think she was guilty.and this time i didnt ven have to ask her!!! woohoos.now gonna leave home to go play xbox wit me cousin.yeah man.life is good.and the rock rules!!! dont ask me what that is.rock rocks.mwahahahhahahas.rock rock rock rock rock rock rock rock rock rock YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYYYYY

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

GOD i have so many problems.so many that evrytime i start thinking abt them, i start swearing.all the bad swear words i can think of.well actually there arent any good swear words so there cant be bad swear words which means that..... ok.nevermind.hmms.gotta faster write this post.my sis will be coming back frm camp any time now and my dad didnt go to work but hes out somewhere where no one can contact him.arrgh.i have so many problems.IT SO TOTALLY SUCKS!!!! my mum doesnt even care and because my fathers bloody dad isnt giving him $$$ as in his salary.. we are officially broke.poor.no money man.sighs.no one understands.and i hate typing this cos it makes the electricity bill go up.and i hate smsing cos it makes my handphone bill go up.and i hate watching freaking television too.

.lgfxhb fk dfthtrudmt 6bngtveuiukhrswiou giklvcuyjrikgmhgjbvrlys.fhkistg ry gfbioyltn fiuyoe;i.ndgytre;ot.gfjd

he cldnt even pay for the newspaper bill yesterdaywhich was like thirty-something bucks i think.he had to give a check.and he tries to hide the "poor" fact frm me and my sis cos he thinks we're so friggin dumb tt we dunno.LIKE HELLOOOO.argggh.and the bank peeps keep calling home cos he owes them money.and i mean ALOT.i hate this.i cant kill myself cos that means making things worse for everyone.cos they'll need money to pay for my funeral and my coffin and stuff.if not they cld jus save money by throwing mee into the spore river yeh.that wld be better.

ALOT.

im so freakin bored man.sick of staying at home.wana go out somewhere.. out out outtttttt.cant anyone rescue me from this prison.i wana escape and fly away.have freedom.theres nothing to watch on the tv and the bloody com is so boring.and not one damn person has come online.i feel like dying.i wana go out and partayye till the sun rises.i wana hang out.let loose.but no one lets me be free.i wana take these chains and handcuffs off.i wana spill out evrything that im feeling.i wana SCREAM.i wana fly.i wana cry.i wanna lie down on the ground and look up at the sky and see the freakin clouds and larf and smile.i wanna climb to great heights.i wanna soar.i wanna sit on a cloud and see angels and meet devils and talk face to face with god.i wanna stay up there in heaven and never have to come down to go to school or whatever bloody thing.i wanna go eat now.buhbyes.(:

Monday, June 06, 2005

i am such a liar.i mean.. evrytime i open my big mouth.. all tt comes out are lies, lies and more lies.cant i just tell the truth fer once.but the only reason i lie is cos SOME CERTAIN people dun let me do what i want.thus, i have to sneak to do it, causing mee to lie.if they wld jus let me do what i want mebbe then i wont have to lie so much.and also because im so embarrassed abt myself that i tdun wana tell the right things abt mee that i lie.which is really bad.but sadly i cant get rid of the habit.i dun geddit.why does evryone say lying is such a bad thing.isit tt bad?

OMG NAT GOT A GUITAR!!!!!!! wtf.this is so unfair.what is this freakin world coming to?????? i want a guitar too.i want a drum set.i want an electric guitar and a classical guitar and whatever else guitar they have.guitars are jus so cool.i know.i'll get nat to buy me one for my birthday.yupp.ok nat? get me one.but guitars are lk so freakin expensive.i think.sighs.well.. too bad fer mee then.

p.s.if eu cant see the font then highlight it.ok i think tt was pretty obvious.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

wo yuan bian cheng tong hua li.. ni ai de na ge tian shi.zhang kai shuang shou bian cheng zhi bang shou hu ni.. ni yao xiang xing xiang xing wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li.

im depressed.i need fag.dun need no one else.jus fag n me.we'll survive.together.wit no one else.cos we dun need no one.i dun need you stupid ignorant brainless inconsiderate uncaring people to support mee.i only need fag.cos u ppl are jus of no use to me.if anything.. u make mee feel worse.ure jus dumb people following the trend so that you can be cool.so that you can be 'in'.so that you can be popular.i mean.. why do u want to be popular n cool n what rubbish.its jus a mind running waste of time.its stupid.

untitled by simple plan.

I open my eyes
I try to see but Im blinded by the white light
I cant remember how
I cant remember why
Im lying here tonight

And I cant stand the pain
And I cant make it go away
No I cant stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Ive got no where to run
The night goes on As Im fading away
Im sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybodys screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
Im slipping off the edge
Im hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I cant explain what happened
And I cant erase the things that Ive done
No I cant

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Ive got no where to run
The night goes on As Im fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Ive got no where to run
The night goes on As Im fading away
Im sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me