actuality

when i was alone

you came around

Sunday, April 30, 2006

i hate school! i seriously dread going back.
i am going to be very dead when my parents see my phone bill.i've probably sent like.. what? 200 msgs? die for sure.my limit's sposed to be 70 can.. somemore got finance problem, how to pay?? sighs.why must we be so poor? they wont even think of confiscating my phone they'll cut the damn line!! ):
im gonna miss you, phone, even though i never really liked you.*sobs*
friday meeting again.yay so excited! (:
im so confused.i dun wanna be involved in their problems, but she's dragging me into it!!! what to do? this is none of my business.she wants me to ask her things she wants to know.that makes it seem as though im on her side.but im not on anyone's side..

save me, anyone.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

omg! do u knw how i feel rite now?? i feel.. weird.dunno whether i like rara anot.never see his wonderful face for so long ar, maybe i've lost interest in him.. so fast! nvm.exams arnd de corner.. why isit that when exams come i dun feel like sutdying but when its like normal lessons and blah i love to study? sometimes lah.so sian.somemore aft exams can immediately go home rite, dats when i get the urge o go out.then i come back home feeling guilty.but i think its ok to go out larh.as long as my parents dun find out, and i study hard.sighs.

yay long weekend.i dread going back to schl.its just plain useless.nothing to blog la.next time.(: so sleepy.but dun wanna go slp hahas.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

stupid afina!!! I DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND! that guy walks like an elephant somemore.lol..but he very cute.LOL.......went to ginza and bought nawshein her present..hope she likes it.hard to..cause AFINA chose it.and no one has such bad taste as her.....hahas.i wanted to get a pigley.not because nawshein is one..thats so rude! because the piglet so cute!! afina lah.she say its very dirty.nvm..spent 6.85 on garfield i think.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

in schl now.. supposed to be doing quickwrite.nobody doing.. still got people listen song.LOL.later got maths test..): then afina and me gg ginza.need to buy present for nawshein..... hope i have money.hahas.. sighs.so boring..

HAPPY BDAY HANIZ!<3 tmr aft schl gg out with afina to buy pressie for nawshein.then fri gg out to northpoint with chan and resh.i am such a damn idiot.week before exams only go out.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Taken a picture naked >> nope.
Made out with a member of the same sex >> no
Danced in front of your mirror >> yupp hahhas..
Told a lie >> who hasnt?
Gotten in a car with people you just met >> yeah
Been in a fist fight >> nah
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back>> yea
Been arrested >> nope
Left your house without telling your parents >> ya
Ditched school to do something more fun >> ya
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex >> ya
Seen someone die >> ya
Kissed a picture >> not sure.
Slept in until 3 >> nope.
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by>> no.. ive tried.i get headaches..
Played dress up >> dun think so.
Fallen asleep at work/school >> yes.
Felt an earthquake >> nah.
Made out with a total stranger >> nope.
Touched a snake >> yupp.
Ran a red light >> not me, my dad.in the car.but while crossing the road too, yeah.
Had detention >> YEA
Been in a car accident >> ya.
Pole danced >> no
Been lost >> yes.
Sang karaoke >> nah.abit.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't >> yupp.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue >> nope.
Sang in the shower >> YEAH
Ever gone to school partially naked >> er.depends whats ur definition of partially naked.lol.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on>> think so.
Broken a bone >> nope.
Forgotten someone's name >> yea.
Blacked out from drinking >> no.
Felt like killing someone >> YA
Cried over someone >> mmhmm.
Had sex more than 10 times in one day >> LOL no, youve got to be REALLY energetic.
Been in a band >> yes.if fag's counted.
Shot a gun >> nah.

Monday, April 24, 2006

yo! LOL.that effing mr tseng.today he made us copy out 4 newspaper articles cause i never bring my book and thay all never do the work.COPY OUT leh.god.he only let us go at 5pm.somemore candice kena the most man.she write untidy until she herself cant read then mr tseng ask her copy 3 MORE.omg.. so poor thing loh.she like wanna cry alr.we complained to ms ray.i was all "that stupid mr tseng make us do so much work blahblah...." and he was like standing not too far away and i think he heard.oops.. :/ he's definitely gonna hate me NOW.shit! im such an arsehole.nvm.....

hurray! my arsehole (jk) of a sis has finally agreed to give me and my cousins tuition!! ((:

Friday, April 21, 2006

omg.am i like dead or what.i have maths and art to do.AND i have to study for history.and i have freaking hiccups which are making my chest effing pain.OW.and here i am, busily blogging, like there's not a acare in the world.and wehn i come back at 11 today, i am going to go atraight to sleep and will have no time tmr cause im totally busy.FUCK!!!

1. Do you like chinese food? love it.(:
2. How big is your bed? single.
3. Is your room clean? nope.
4. Laptop or desktop computer? laptop.but i want a mouse.i hate the tapping one.its so bloody irritating.
5. Favorite comedian? no idea.
7. Sleep with or without clothes on? with, duh.
8. Who do you sleep with every night? 2 pillows and.....blanket?
9. Do long distance relationships work? depends la, but i might not want one.
11. Pancakes or french toast? french toast.
12. Do you like coffee? YEAH
13. How do you like your eggs? scrambled.mmm.((:
14. Do you believe in astrology? nah
15. Last person you talked to on the phone? dad.
16. Last person on your missed call list? mum
17. What does the last text message you received say? hehe not telling :D
18. Mcdonalds or Burger King? burger king
19. Number of pillows? 2
20. What are you hearing right now? none
21. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song? happy together
22. What kind of jelly do you like on your sandwich? no jelly, please.
23. Can you play pool? mmhmm.but havent in a LONG time.
24. Do you know how to swim? yea
25. Favorite ice cream? err......whats that brand? baskin robbins! ya.
26. What color is your purse/backpack? grey for wallet, bag is black.
27. Tell me a random fact: er.im afraid of the dark.. sometimes.(((((:
28. Ever play spin the bottle? spin the phone, yes.LOL.
29. Ever attend a theme party? nope.
30. What is your favorite season? winter i guess.OR summer
31. Favorite quote? dunno got many
33. Last time you laughed at something stupid? ytrd.
34. What time did you wake up this morning? 9.43am.hahas.slept late ytrd.
35. Best thing about winter? snow!! hahhas.
36. Last time a cop gave you a ticket? never
37. Your first pet? terrapin or fish.but i knw i killed the terrapin. :/
38. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated? pretty cool, most of the time.(actually only in movies)
39. What do you do on weekdays? schl
39. What are you doing this weekend? performance, and whatever.
40. Are you desperate for anything right now? not despo, as in you know what, for DESIRABLE ACTIVITIES lol.deperate for.. a new phone.my phone hangs.))))): fuck.

SIAN.later got band performance frm 4 to 9.must be in schl at 2.30pm.im gonna be damn tired when i come home.i bet i'll only reach home abt 11 or so.. ): SIGHS.lucky no homework to worsen my mood.i dun wanna wear the disgusting band uni.i look horrible in it can.)))))))): hais.hope the damn performance goes well.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

something is fucking wrong with my blog.some cookies thing is disabled.no idea what that means.

OMG I WANT TO GO TO ZOUK!!!!!!!!!!! but i know theres no chance.): not even 1 in 99897361365716.ARGH.

tamil exam was bloody hard.i didnt understand the compre so didnt feel like doing.then i realised only got 15 freaking mins left.so i was all " oh shit " and just rushed through the rest of the paper.anw even if i hadnt rushed, i still wouldnt have known how to do.ok.maybe a tiiiiinnyyyyy little bit.but i would have been totally clueless other than that wee bit which i understood.the answers are fucking hard to find can.have to go and study eng.actually no la.now im studying hist.hehe.. tmr go schl do eng lar.im so scared!!! hope it goes well.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

blahblahblah.i dont wanna study.im lazy.ytrd got bigbigbigbig scoldings frm the fucking art tchr.she's so bitchy can.i hate why art has to be included into exam marks.it actually affects whether we get into the best class or not.wtf?! i seriously hate that.got back bio test.i think like 3/4 of the class failed lah.i got 11/28.)))))))): somemore i think must sign.oh man.shld i purposely forget to sign and rick getting scolded by susan wong or shld i sign and risk getting scolded by mum + dad? hm.not a hard choice.just forget larh.i check with others first.aft all, almost everyone did as badly, if not worse, than me.right? hahhas.argh.my tamil file is staring at me, waiting to be opened.HOW???? i dont want.): hmph.

HELLO!!! ((: i feel like i havent blogged in AGES.hahas.tmr got tamil exam.im so damn scared! dun wanna fail.then thurs got eng.so scary lar.. why must they have exams so bloody fast man? its like we hardly have any time.im not even prepared fer tmr.so freaking dead.sighs.wish me good luck!! :D

Monday, April 17, 2006

[x] broken a promise
[x] made a new friend
[x] fell in love
[x] fell out of love
[ ] done something you swore never to do
[x] lied
[ ] stole
[x] went behind your parents back
[ ] cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hidden a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[ ] got arrested
[ ] kissed in the rain
[ ] slept under the stars
[x] gotten in a fight
[ ] kept your new years resolution
[ ] forgot your new years resolution
[ ] met someone who changed your life
[ ] met one of your idols
[x]changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[ ] pretended to be sick
[ ] left the country
[ ] almost died
[ ] drank myself retarded
[ ] lost someone close to you
[x] been to the hospital
[x] gotten closer to someone
[ ] streaked
[x] cried over someone
[ ] broken up with a gf or bf
[x] given up something important to you
[x] talked on the phone all night
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] made a total fool of myself
[x] met great people

Friday, April 14, 2006

DAMN.i lost my bloody maths tb.shit la, im so freaking dead.on thurs, when we went for band, i put my bag + tb in class rm, then went to take trumpet, and when i came back, it was gone! searched the whole fucking classrm (3/7)but cant find!! i mean, come one, who'd wanna steal a shitty maths txtbk? of all books why maths? and why mine?!?!?!!! argh.i miss my textbk.): now must buy new one lor.so damn ex ok!! and im so poor now.WHY must we be so poor.. sighs.mon need to go and report.doubt they'll find it.stupid.and then thurs was the most bloody unlucky day ever.band finished at 6.15 and took 196 to commonwealth.my card no money, and neither did i.so took 198 to boon lay, which took like 1 1/2 hrs?!?! then waited for like 15 min at boon lay for 178 to get home, i only reached home abt 8.15 man.wah lao.
got our band tees on thurs too.SO FREAKING BRIGHT!! its like.. luminous orange..then had four fucking tests on thurs, i told you, it was the unluckiest day ever.and today is sat, and i've only finished one newsppr article so far.lazy sia.lol.just hope i can find my textbk by this week.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

this is my temporary skin for now.my old (new) skin, the bloody pic couldnt be seen.so sad.): and it was really nice.to me lah.hehe.. i MUST pass bio.i must go and study now.but i dont want to.))): bio is boring.i miss ms chong.LOL.but even her tests were pretty hard.BUT susan wong's are so cheeeeeeem.how to understand?!?!?!?!!! confirm fail + die.wish me good luck.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

ok i titally screwed up my oral.): thats hannah tan looked at me like i couldnt speak properly or as if i was some fascinating alien creature from another planet.who knows, maybe she's racist.hahhas.. tmr got bio test, sure fail but I DONT WANNA FAIL!!!!! i dont wanna go into 3/4 next yr.

I FEAR: [x] the dark
[ ] staying single
[ ] getting married
[ ] being a parent
[x] giving birth
[x sometimes] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x sometimes] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] cats
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[x] spiders and/or other insects
[ ] driving or being in cars
[ ] flying
[ ] being put to sleep (anesthesia)
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] being touched
[x] fire
[ ] water
[x] the ocean
[ ] pools
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] germs[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[x] mice/rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[x] cemeteries
[ ] clowns
[ ] large crowds
[x] demons or evil
[ ] crossing bridges
[x] death
[x] hell
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[x] being sexually assulted
[ ] men
[ ] women
[x] having great responsibility
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes
[x] hurricanes
[ ] being punished
[ ] diseases, including cancer and STD's
[x] snakes
[x] sharks
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] poverty
[x] ghosts
[ ] Halloween
[x] school
[ ] trains or railroads
[x] fear
[x] being alone
[x] losing my friends
[x] being blind to things
[x] being deaf
[x] growing up
[x] being murdered in my sleep

BE HONEST.(:

Monday, April 10, 2006

today school rocked.for ONCE.cept that afina never come la, so haniz was quite lonely.got back hist test and i got 11.5/15.hurray!!!!! the stupid tchr, he cheated my feelings.): he said im highest and turns out that the bitch nawshein got 13.sighs.nvm.aft sch went home with yulenda n haniz.then went central to eat kfc with yulenda.actually i didnt want to, since she's abit a bitch, but i was bored.so went for some entertainment.lol.then her parents picked her up nd i went home.btw poornima went missing today.hahas.she came to schl lar, but disappeared aft recess i think.no one knws where she went loh.weirdo.
anw, i think im gonna fail maths id year lah.unless i dont start revising NOW.at this very moment.instead of blogging.and bio also.and.. and.. phy and.. mostly everything larh.tmr got eng oral so god bless.. please oh please i hope i can do well.some hannah chan is sposed to be my tchr.god knws who she is.

Friday, April 07, 2006

the play went GORGEOUSLY.hahas.im so relieved its finally over.so happy! i think everyone did really well and worked REALLY hard.then aft the play had celebrations till schl ended.mr tseng bought nice cakes and drinks.so nice right? then watched howl's moving castle blah, and my shoe totally tore.the whole front part came out, like as if the shoe has a mouth.and to top it all of.. it got wet in the rain.which made it tear more.so aft schl since we had like 3 hrs free, (luckily) adhi followed me home and i changed my shoe.she got a plaster free.hahhas.then went back to schl again for commendation day.boy was it boring.i nearly fell asleep.aft that, as usual, the goh soon hua gave us all scolding for talking alot and then released us.had to wait for damn nawshein to get scolding cause she lost her tie, before we left.then at the busstop 2 of them decided to go search the schl for the tie, so i went home on my own.i was bloody mad at nawshein.anw, now thats done, mon must return to schl lor.have to go now.byes!((:

Thursday, April 06, 2006

woohoo!! im so happy today. :D mr tseng FINALLY said my catwalk is really good.yay! so proud of myself.. i feel like i've accomplished something.(: lol.. anw had to wait for the rain to stop before gg home but it didnt stop so we went home anyway.i wanted to take 183 all the way to jurong but these two indian guys behind me were totally freaking me out.. so i got off at clementi.then on the way home got totally drenched, cause i like walking in the rain, cause no one knows im crying.HAHAS.no.. that isnt true, i wasnt crying.i just like walking in the rain.its fun.got home all wet, my uniform turned a darker shade of blue, hahhas.and then got big scoldings frm my maid.she asked why i couldnt have called her frm the mrt to bring umbrella, i gave some lame excuse.the real reason is cause i like walking in the rain.lol.. anw, tmr is going to be the worst day of my life.i hope the play goes well, and i hope no one thinks the lesser of me.):
god bless!!! ((:

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

i am in a very bad mood today.i had NO fun with bitches and bastards and i think im a bout to burst if i dont tell anyone whats happened immediately.lucky for me, i have afina.
ps i hate that fucking bloody BITCH nawshein, adhi, _ _ _ _, and _ _ _ _ _ .go and die la u bitches and bastards.

i am such a bloody fool.dont wanna talk about it.maybe some other time.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

ok, on friday i am officially going to make a damn fool of myself infront fo the whole bloody school.good luck to me.(: i really seriously hate myself la.im always embarrassing myself in one way or another.i bet.. i bet i cant even last a week without embarrassing myself in front of people.not even a week, a DAY.seriously! i suck at life and thats that.i am absolutely hopeless at it.i cant even manage others, let alone MYSELF.sighs./ feel so lousy.i cant even do a simpke thing right.everyone else is so perfect, why cant i get rid of my flaws?! hais.
nvm, today had the drama rehearsal, and i am confident that we will do well (aka flop) on friday.hurray!! ((: fuck lar;mr tseng.he left halfway through.okok i have to go now.byes!!! :D

Monday, April 03, 2006

HALLOS! i hate myself!! for being so damn tall! i hate it!!! its so bloody annoying! why must i be born like that?????!?!?!?!!!!! why cant i be normal height like everyone else??????!?!!!!!!! i hate it.

1. Song playing at the moment? true.
2. One reason for living? to.. experience life? i dunno, i guess im afraid of death, ok.
3. Do u think you're ok? nope.
4. Ever donated blood? too young.
5. Fav color(s)? black, orange
6. Accessories you wear daily? earrings;
7. One song to describe a heartbreak in the past? fall to pieces
8. Last place you went to? central
9. Last person u went out with? afina and haniz
10. The most exciting sport? no idea.soccer! hahhas.since the world cup's coming.
11. Ever had a baby? nope.too many miscarriages.LOL.
12. Movie u want 2 watch? dorm? but scary seh.
13. Any piercings? two.want more!
14.The most romantic gift? no idea.. must think alot lah, who knows? maybe its yet to come.
15. Act on stage before? about to.embarrass myself infront of the whole freaking school!! ):
16. Struck by lightning before? nah.
17. Danced with your loved one before? no
18. Ever wished you could turn back time? yeah baby
19. What would you do if you woke up one day to find yourself to be with someone from the opposite sex? well.. i seriously have no idea.probably scream and kick him out then go doctor or something.. maybe buy pregnancy test lol.
20. One song that's meaningful to you? fall to pieces.
21. Last person you met for the first time? this weird mr.
22. What will you be doing tomorrow? school
23. Ever thought of robbing a bank? yea, but.. its hard you know.
24. One thing you totally regret doing/done? lying, and alot more.
25. Do people like you? go ask them.
26. What was the last game you played on the computer? the doors hahas.
27. Someone who means a lot to you at the moment? no one in particular.that one die alr lah.
28. The color of your mobile phone? black.
29. Do you hate someone at the moment? a little, ya.
30. Any tattoos on you? nopes.