actuality

when i was alone

you came around

Friday, September 28, 2007

I need to release some of my stress and anger.
my mum and sister are so weird they keep blaming me for everything and scolding me and what did I do? I'm just being my normal self, forgetting to switch off the fan but they have to shout and shout and my mum was like asking me which subjects I'm weak in for chemistry and I was like "errrrrr.."
coz I didnt feel like answering and she shouted at me saying "two weeks to exams and you still don't know what you're weak in! I'm sorry but I'm going to shout at you until your exams are over, I know you won't study, and then you'll come back with your result slip looking so upset blah blah blah" I'M SO DISTRACTED.
even my sister said so.
we played tennis yesterday from 9 to 10 at night and then I got so angry with myself cause I couldn't play which is weird, cause usually when I play with my cousin I can play, well maybe that's cause she can play properly, i dunno? sigh.
and then I feel so useless because my phone has gone cuckoo, it just died on me and it won't switch on and when I tried charging it nothing happened. I feel so @_@ and then my sister's stupid calculator died on me also, stupid me, I thought it was everlasting cause it was solar powered -.-
anyway I can't use my own calculator either cause the second function thingamajig isn't working argghhhhhhhhh!
AND THEN how do I do my maths? I had better be able to buy the calc battery and fix my phone by today pleaseplease pretty pretty please don't let the hello shop be crowded.
and my sister being a total #%^$*$&^%^#%W*^#&$^& doesn't help either I hate her so much. phew I feel much better now. oh and I hate weekends cause I can't study, I just can't, like weekdays have me in a study sort of mood better than weekends):
phew. okay then bye I'm off to release more stress.

and I almost had you, but I guess that doesn't cut it

Thursday, September 27, 2007

hellow I loved tamil today, except maybe not paper 1.
I seriously think the paper wasn't very hard, but I rly hope I can do well for it, sincerely. tomorrow's english yay I hope the paper isn't hard.
joanne amanda and jiayi came over today. we played on the swings and see-saw and we played taboo and piano and took a lot of retarded videos ahhaha I love you guys. AND WHO IS THE IMPOSTOR PRETENDING TO BE ME ON MY TAGBOARD?
YOU BETTER OWN UP.
alright then I should stuuuuuudy sooner or later, maybe later yeah? byezzzzzzzzz love ya.

drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I feel quite guilty, there's like seriously no one online right now, I'mr eally the only one. I dunno why suddenly everyone's offline :/ I just wanna get the tamil exam over with, tomorrow. heh. I'm looking forward to paper 2 I dunno why, I guess I'm used to the thousands of tests we've had so yeah. but not paper 1. I don't wanna bring a dictionary, cause I know I won't use it. k I shall go study now cause I'm afraid my mum'll scold me bye.

oh, oh, oh, to the headlight disco

Friday, September 21, 2007

whoo. I'm tired just uploading all those pictures. anyway pe today was fun, it'll probably be the last we have for a long time. played captain's ball with A LOT , and I mean a lot of people. after school was fun and fit. a bunch of us went to eat at mr prata, this prata shop and the food was rly good hehehe, haven't had prata in a while. emath test today was alright I'm pretty confident, for once! then after mr prata ian and joanne came over. we sat at the void deck to study but we were singing and dancing and playing games instead and we played at the swings and the seesaw. JOANNE CANNOT SWING HAHAHA. I have a headache, oh and the new maid came today!! she seems kinda nice, I'll have to get used to her, she seems motherly, I hope she's nice. I'm onna miss my maid lots and lots, really. sigh, well I have to move on. I love you maid I'm gonna miss you!!

right now, she's probable saying "I'm drunk" and he's thinking that he's gonna get lucky

Thursday, September 20, 2007

today was a dragging sort of day. no bio test cause mdm valli didn't come, yay (?) but the chem test was freakishly hard, and had a surprise tamil test which didn't make my day any better. now I'm teaching afina maths. hehehe I feel smart. omg my father's shouting on the phone, talking to my aunt :/ anyway after school wanted to go to the libby so we went to ntuc to buy tidbits then we decided not to go to the libby. and the buses took forever to come and by the time we reached afina's house it was 430. k anyway I have to go do maths now cause I must pass my emaths test tmr and omg my father is scary when he shouts.

hey, so much I need to say

Monday, September 17, 2007

I'm so sleepy.
I've decided that I want my mum's phone, it's the very first motorazr thingy. I know it's lousier than mine but I want a flip phone and motorola is so appealing to me right now.
tamil test tomorrow, I think half of the reason why I suck at tamil is because I just don't like it so I'm gonna pretend to like it tmr so that I can pass the test. chem test on thurs, need to do the notes and all, emath test on fri :/ I so so so so so wanna pass the chem testy.
yeaaaaaaa that's all time to sleep now even though it's early, byeeeeeeeee!

you build me up, you break me down
provoke a smile, and make me frown

Friday, September 14, 2007

i'm dwlding the new version of msn now, I'm so excited I wonder what it's gonna look like!!!!
hehe. my maid's going in like a week and a few days, omg i'm gonna be so sad when she goes.
it's always like this, you never appreciate what you have til it's gone. I feel so stupid now, I hardly have time to spend with her, boohoo. the days are passing so fast.
shit I'm so scared, I mean we're still gonna get a new maid, but still I'm gonna be so lost and lonely without her okay I'm gonna stop cause it's making me sad and sad is bad.

oh the chemistry course on silver nanoparticles today wasn't very effective, I didn't learn much and I'd much rather have gone to school and had pe and like four free periods cause mrs lam didn't come. and then we got released early cause the silver nanoparticles would take a few hours to be ready or something, and I dunno why they want us to have the particles, it's not like we can use it,let alone see it.
I mean hello, it's used to fight HIV. wow I'm feeling hungry I shall go eat in case I vomit or something k bye. oh oh I love the book 'if you could see me now'. It's so so enchanting and captivating and interesting and yeah it's just so nice I can't put it down.

and she learned that imagining and fantasising did nothing but break her heart

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

oh.my.god.I hate poetry. It's so emo, emo, emo. HATE POETRY. it makes you feel so responsible for all the bad things in life and it JUST.MAKES.YOU.SO.BLOODY.GUILTY. HATE POETRY!

I never wanna wish to be sick again. vomiting so much makes me feel so weak, I'm so afraid that when I stand up I'm gonna fall back down again or when I eat I'm gonna vomit it out. I sometimes even wonder if I'm forcing myself to vomit. okay don't think that. and now I can't breathe properly, and my sister says it's cause I've lost so much water, but when I drink my water, again, I'm scared I'll vomit. I spent practically the whole of today watching zoey 101 episodes, don't ask why, they're appealing to me.

I'm sorry for the tears I've made you cry, I guess this time it really is goodbye

Monday, September 10, 2007

I have to do this quick cause if my sister comes back I'm dead cause I'm not supposed to be using the computer, or 'chatting', which is what my mum thinks im doing. no bio test today! grr wasted all my time studying bio but whatever I feel enlightened. after school was cool, went to jurong macs with afina. omg and when we were studying this teeny weeny but scary butterfly landed on my paper. and if you were as afraid of butterflies as I am, you'd have freaked out too. omg so scaryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!! ahhhhh then afina actually touched it and put it near some plant, I'm surprised it's wings didn't disintegrate or something. whoo. what an experience hahah. and on the bus we saw a red ant, :O k have to go finish my english paper now bye.
one of my aspirations is to be an author.

that's when you need me there, with you I'll always share

Friday, September 07, 2007

omg it's such a hot day today. went to haniz's house for the music project and took pictures of haniz and she recorded the song and we sort of did the video until both our cameras died on us. -.- then we ate fish and chips and joanne, me and haniz's brother played racing on the xbox. hahah so fun and scary, there was one race joanne reversed all the way to the finishing line, and another one I won her by a second. so cool, I want an xbox!! k must must must finish bio by today bye.

you are the music in me

Thursday, September 06, 2007

okay hello. sometimes I just hate going to my cousin's house, i mean it's like the only reason I go there is to visit my grandmother, but my cousins and aunt and uncle can be so hostile and unwelcoming. like yesterday, I was there til like 10pm cause I was waiting for my mum to pick me up after work. and my uncle didn't even offer to drop me back, and if it was my dad, he would definitely drop my cousin home, no questions asked. I just hate them so much sometimes.
anyway yesterday had maths in the morning, which passed pretty fast. then amanda joanne and me went to ICA or whatever building it is to do amanda's pr thing, which we had to wait very long for. we played handphone games while waiting, and I think they're addictive.
after that we went to far coast to study a little and joanne bought cappucino and went all high and restless again ahahah. then we sat at kinokuniya and read books, no, magazines, yeah thenw alked around then went home.
then today was fun, had band in the morning. mr neo said the shirt we bought for him was too big and asked if we could exchange it ahhahah! I can't believe he wanetd to wear it today, he's so enthu. hahah!! then ian afina and me went to the libby and ate and had lots of fun. there was this table tennis competition thing, ahha ian go join! okay I have to go and seriously study now, i hope, bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you make me wanna hold you till the morning light

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

yo I just watched hairspray with my sister yo. I love james marsden aka corny collins, he's so CHARMING (: and handsome. better than zac efron. the show was enjoyable, but it was like dance after dance song after song and I felt like dancing along with them. yeah but it was really very energetic and yeah. all their teeth are so white! but it must be special effects and whatnot but yeah it catches your attention. I urgently need to try and digest some bio right now, okay? bye.

you better lock up your man, before he meets the new girl in town

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Is it me or is everyone fawning over zac efron. I don't think he's that hot, ahhaha that must be my bad taste talking! let's see, today's monday, oh so on saturday I cut my hair! heh. don't ask me to describe it cause I dunno how, and I have no comments about it either. except..

hairdresser: whoa I'm so tired!
me: why??
hairdresser: cutting your hair is like cutting two peoples' hair!! HAIYA! so thick ah!
me: -slaps lady-

okay so the slapping part isn't true, but was quite angry. maybe she was hinting that I should pay twice the amount -.- yesterday went to my cousin's house, and I saw his report book and nearly died of shock. he got like all A1s I think, and a few subjects 90+ . -dies of shock-

anyway, lots of relatives and cute babies came to his house to visit my grandma and we played with all the babies, and they have me wishing I could be a kid again ): and then today there was band, and there's so much renovation going on in school, we had to shift here and there. after that jeslin and me had lunch at clementi and walked around a bit and here I am. this week's kinda boring, mean no one's free to go out or whatever, so I guess I'll have to study a lot.

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

Labels: I've never felt the need to lose control.